25 Things I Will Not Miss About McCain, Palin and the GOP

With just two days left until the most historic presidential election in our nation's history, it appears from the major national polls and electoral map that Democratic Sen. Barack Obama and Sen. Joe Biden are racing towards victory, while the GOP's Sen. John McCain and his running mate Gov. Sarah Palin are fast headed back to Arizona and the igloo-with-the-view (of Russia).

To be sure, as the Straight Talk Express heads West Wednesday morning, I will not be mourning the absence of McNasty and the Wacky Wasilla Wonder from the national stage. In fact, there are many things in particular that I most definitely will not miss (in no particular order):

1. I will not miss McCain and Palin's repeated lies about Obama's tax policies

2. I will not miss the phrase "spreading the wealth"

3. I will not miss McCain constantly saying that Obama is "measuring the drapes"

4. I will not miss McCain incessantly reSURGEitating that we're winning the Iraq war

5. I will not miss being told I live in the "unpatriotic" part of the USA

6. I will not miss hearing that trickle down economics is the way to keep America strong despite the fact that it's nearly destroyed us financially during the past eight years

7. I will not miss Cindy McCain standing behind her man at rallies nodding approvingly like a sedated Stepford Wife

8. I will not miss McCain and Palin's brand of McCarthyism, as they relentlessly refer to Obama as a socialist, elitist, terrorist and any other slur that ends in "ist"

9. I will not miss the reprehensible propaganda that Obama's a Muslim

10. I will not miss McCain and Palin twisting Biden's words about Obama being tested

11. I will not miss McCain and Palin's non-stop nastiness, sarcasm and
condescension

12. I will not miss all the "maverick" talk

13. I will not miss the nonsense about McCain and Palin "cleaning up Washington"

14. I will not miss Sarah Palin. Especially her painfully grating voice

15. I will not miss all the "gosh-darnits" and "you betchyas"

16. I will not miss Palin's views on the role of the vice president

17. I will not miss McCain accusing Obama of being a "celebrity," when his choice of Palin was purely a cheap political stunt designed to turn her into a celebrity

18. I sure as hell won't miss Joe the Plumber...the unlicensed, lien-fighting GOP stooge who just hired a talent manager to extend his annoying 15 minutes of fame despite the fact that we're already sick of him

19. I will not miss the curb-like depths that McPalin's campaign has sunk to and which have empowered miscreants like North Carolina's Sen. Elizabeth Dole to create outrageously offensive "Godless" snear ads directed at her opponent Kay Hagen. That's right Kay, sue the friggin' crap out of her, baby!

20. I will not miss McCain saying "My Friends" 800 times during a 10-minute speech

21. I will not miss the phrase "country first"

22. I will not miss the blatant hypocrisy and classic Freudian Projection of McPalin

23. I will not miss The View's Elizabeth Hasselbeck's embarrassing attempt to sound like anything but a brainwashed, Kool-Aid-drunken Republican dunce pathetically trying to defend McPalin

24. I will not miss the so-called "undecideds" who, despite having two candidates who are diabolically opposed on every single major issue, are still "torn"

25. I will not miss the undeniable end to the sleezy Rovian era of GOP politics.

I will, however, greatly miss Tina Fey.


On another subject......TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE for the November 17 Second Annual Adrienne Shelly Foundation Fundraising Gala at New York University's Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. Join us for a terrific evening of music, comedy and film, with scheduled appearances by Paul Rudd, Jeremy Sisto, Cheryl Hines, Mary Louise Parker, Kristen Bell, Lili Taylor, Ally Sheedy, Keri Russell, Gina Gershon and others. To learn more about our mission, to make a tax-deductible donation, and to purchase tickets, please visit our website. Every contribution helps preserve Adrienne's legacy, allows us to help others, and creates something positive out of the tragic loss two years ago of an incredibly loving and talented woman.

Out on the Campaign Trail with The McMuppets

These days, its hard to tell the difference between Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign and Sesame Street. The award winning children's educational television program has a colorful cast of imaginative characters like Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, Oscar the Grouch, Kermit the Frog, Wolfgang the Seal and Nigel the Conductor. But over on Straight Talk Street we have Joe the Plumber, Joe the Chocolate Maker, Cindy the Citizen, Gary the Dentist, Jim the Produce Stand Owner (Mr. Hooper?) and Ramon the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce President to name a few. But the only thing we learn from this twisted show is just how low a candidate is willing to stoop, and how much he is willing to lie and deceive, in order to win.

McCain and his grating-voiced running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, are so desperate just eight days away from the election that they continue to ratchet up the inflammatory rhetoric against Sen. Barack Obama and his vice presidential nominee Sen. Joe Biden, resorting to more and more blatant lies and distortions of the truth. And in classic psychological projection that would make Freud proud, they accuse the Democratic ticket of doing and saying everything that in fact they are doing and saying. If it weren't so disturbing it'd be comical.

They're attacking Obama for wanting to "spread the wealth," all because he intends to roll back the massive tax cuts President Bush gave the wealthiest 1% of Americans eight years ago. They say he's a socialist. Well, if it wasn't socialism to give huge tax breaks to the rich, then taking them away certainly isn't either.

Then they pounced on Biden over his "Obama will be tested" remark. There was refreshing honesty and truth in that statement (qualities terribly lacking in McCrusty the Grouch and Miss Palin). Was Woodrow Wilson not tested with World War 1? Was Herbert Hoover not tested with the 1929 stock market crash and the Great Depression? Was FDR not tested by Adolph Hitler and Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor? Was Harry Truman not tested by World War II and the bombing of Japan; the Korean War; and McCarthyism? Was Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower not tested by the Cold War? Was JFK not tested by the Cuban Missile Crisis? Was Lyndon B. Johnson not tested by JFK's assassination, Vietnam and the civil rights movement? Was Richard Nixon not tested by China, Vietnam and the assassinations of RFK and Martin Luther King Jr? Was Jimmy Carter not tested with the Iranian hostage crisis and the OPEC oil squeeze? Was Ronald Reagan not tested by Russia; the Beirut, Lebanon barracks attack; and his own assassination attempt? Was George Bush Sr. not tested by Saddam Hussein? Was Bill Clinton not tested by Slobodan Milosevic? And was George W. Bush not tested by the 9-11 attacks and the current economic maelstrom? Every president is tested, and it's irresponsible to suggest otherwise. It simply comes with the job. And it's especially reprehensible to imply that Obama in particular will be tested because he's perceived as young, inexperienced and weak.

Grandpa John and Grandma Sarah are now hammering home the notion that a Democratic triumvirate of Obama, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is tantamount to political Armageddon, despite the fact that for virtually all of the last 15 years power has been concentrated in the hands of Republicans, who've been mired in cronyism, scandal and corruption. Perhaps a Democratic hat-trick is just the medicine we need.

McPalin has also resorted to shameful robocalls in which Obama is painted as a terrorist-wannabe. I guess Obama's "radical associations" demonstrates the kind of behavior folks like Gen. Colin Powell condone.

And they accuse Obama of being an elitist (can you be an elitist and a socialist??), while Saucy Sarah spends $150,000 on clothes, hair and make-up in a 45-day period....and her boss owns nine homes and thirteen cars.

This week the new McNasty mantra is that Obama's "measuring the drapes" and "planning his first address to the nation." Where does this nonsense even come from?

I really can't wait for next Tuesday night. Of course, it'll be wonderful and historic to see Obama become our 44th president. But also to finally bid adieu to John the Liar and Sarah the Evangelical Airhead.


On another subject......TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE for the November 17 Second Annual Adrienne Shelly Foundation Fundraising Gala at New York University's Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. Join us for a terrific evening of music, comedy and film, with scheduled appearances by Paul Rudd, Jeremy Sisto, Karen Black, Ken Burns, Cheryl Hines, Mary Louise Parker, Kristen Bell, Lili Taylor, Ally Sheedy, Marisa Tomei, Keri Russell, Gina Gershon and others. To learn more about our mission, to make a tax-deductible donation, and to purchase tickets, please visit our website. Every contribution helps preserve Adrienne's legacy, allows us to help others, and creates something positive out of the tragic loss two years ago of an incredibly loving and talented woman.

Palin the "Walmart Mom" Spends $125,000 on Clothes at Neiman Marcus and Saks. I Doubt Joe the Plumber's Wife Shops So Lavishly

Politico.com has reported that the Republican National Committee has spent more than $150,000 to clothe and accessorize Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her family since Sen. John McCain chose her as his running mate in late August, including $125,000 spent at Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus, as well as $4700 on hair and makeup. So much for the Wasilla Wonder's phony claim to be the "Walmart Mom."

Palin's shopping spree is just another glaring example of the McPalin smoke and mirrors routine, whereby the elite candidates adopt the mantle of the working class, while accusing the populist, working class candidates of being elitist. It's a case of the candidate with nine homes, thirteen cars and a $100-million family net-worth accusing the one-car, one-home-owning candidate with being out of touch with "average Americans." It's the self-proclaimed "Hockey Mom" pulling the fine Italian merino wool over the eyes of every real Walmart Mom who's worried about feeding her kids and paying the rent.

Let me tell you something. I've been a hockey dad for the better part of the last six years, traveling extensively at the crack of dawn to freezing cold smelly rinks all over the East Coast. There's not a lot of clothes from Saks and Neiman in those stands, nor are there a a lot of women who've ever stepped foot in such high-end stores. Many of these folks are living paycheck-to-paycheck.

To be sure, Palin's latest gaffe demonstrates a major disconnect with the candidate's "everywoman" message. She's a walking, grating-accent-talking contradiction, just like McCain and the rest of the GOP lot. It's all about "do as I say, not as I do," and it always will be with this hypocritical bunch.

And by the way, is it even legal to use campaign funds on lavish shopping sprees? Regardless, it certainly isn't ethical.


On another subject......TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE for the November 17 Second Annual Adrienne Shelly Foundation Fundraising Gala at New York University's Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. Join us for a terrific evening of music, comedy and film, with scheduled appearances by Paul Rudd, Jeremy Sisto, Ken Burns, Cheryl Hines, Mary Louise Parker, Kristen Bell, Lili Taylor, Ally Sheedy, Marisa Tomei, Keri Russell, Gina Gershon and others. To learn more about our mission, to make a tax-deductible donation, and to purchase tickets, please visit our website. Every contribution helps preserve Adrienne's legacy, allows us to help others, and creates something positive out of the tragic loss two years ago of an incredibly loving and talented woman.

Sarah Palin's "In Charge of the Senate." Tina Fey Says "Thank You" For Her Next Skit

Speaking to a reporter Tuesday who asked her about a third-grader's question about the role of the United States vice president, Gov. Sarah Palin, Republican nominee Sen. John McCain's running mate, offered this explanation:

..."A vice president has a really great job because, not only are they there to support the president's agenda, they're like the team member, the teammate to that president, but also, they’re in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the Senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom."

Holy Eskimo shit...what the fuck is this woman talking about? My God...team member? Teammate? In charge of the Senate? How on Earth can you possibly run for the second highest job in the world and not even know what the hell its responsibilities are? How does the McCain camp let her out on the street with this moronic revisionist nonsense? She wouldn't know a U.S. Constitution if it smacked her in her fraudulent smart-girl glasses. As MSNBC's Chris Matthews said Tuesday night, "She wasn't talking to third-graders, she was talking like a third-grader!"

Palin seems to be utterly clueless as to what her job would be. And it's no surprise. She's consistently made embarrassing, Constitutionally-inaccurate statements on the role of the office. It began July 31st when she told CNBC's Larry Kudlow that, "As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day? I’m used to being very productive and working real hard in an administration."

She dug her ignorance hole even deeper when, during the vice presidential debate with Sen. Joe Biden, she told moderator Gwen Ifill that she believes Dick Cheney was right about the vice president being more that just a member of the executive branch, and that vp's have "much flexibility" in the job:

"Well, our founding fathers were very wise there in allowing through the Constitution much flexibility there in the office of the vice president. And we will do what is best for the American people in tapping into that position and ushering in an agenda that is supportive and cooperative with the president’s agenda in that position. Yeah, so I do agree with him that we have a lot of flexibility in there, and we’ll do what we have to do to administer very appropriately the plans that are needed for this nation."

Last time I checked, Article I Section 3 of the U.S. Constitution says the job of the vice president is twofold: to take over the job of president in the event the president is unable to serve; and to serve as president of the Senate, with responsibilities strictly limited to serving as the tie-breaker. The job offers no legislative powers, Grandma. There is no "flexibility." There are no "policy changes" to be made. You are not "in charge" of anything. You simply sit in a chair looking bored out of your wits, like every other vice president in U.S. history--including Darth Vader--and quietly observe as 100 Senators do their job. Unless there's a tie, you are window-dressing. Period. Not that I give a shit, but you should really stop humiliating yourself like this. And, your stupidity is shaving points off of McCain's poll numbers faster than Karl Rove's hairline is receding. I guess, for that, we should be thankful. Just as Saturday Night Live's Tina Fey is grateful for her next skit on the wacky Wasilla Wonder.

Of Palin's latest screw-up, MSNBC's Keith Olbermann incredulously opined, "You've had three months to get this right!" It's truly unbelievable that she hasn't.

Regarding the McCain campaign in general, it has gotten so desperate that it's beginning to make the candidate and his running mate appear like a couple of erratic, self-contradicting nitwits. The latest barrage of attacks on Democratic nominee Sen. Barack Obama accuses him of being a "socialist." So, let's get this straight: he's a socialist...and, um....an elitist...and, er...a terrorist...and...um...a celebrity. . What's next, a hermaphrodite? And anyway, is a possible for one person to be a socialist, an elitist, a terrorist and a celebrity? How would that even look? Do you attend Harvard to get high-paying jobs so you can live in a wealthy neighborhood just so you can steal from your rich neighbors to give to the poor, all before you blow up their houses and then go for drinks with Alec Baldwin? I'm lost....


On another subject......TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE for the November 17 Second Annual Adrienne Shelly Foundation Fundraising Gala at New York University's Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. Join us for a terrific evening of music, comedy and film, with scheduled appearances by Paul Rudd, Jeremy Sisto, Ken Burns, Cheryl Hines, Mary Louise Parker, Kristen Bell, Lili Taylor, Ally Sheedy, Marisa Tomei, Keri Russell, Gina Gershon and others. To learn more about our mission, to make a tax-deductible donation, and to purchase tickets, please visit our website. Every contribution helps preserve Adrienne's legacy, allows us to help others, and creates something positive out of the tragic loss two years ago of an incredibly loving and talented woman.

These Kids Can't Vote...But You Can!

This comes to us from my good friend Peter Newman, whose 10-year-old daughter Romilly and her pal Gideon McCarty have hit the nail on the head. Young people, take it from Romilly and Gideon....get out there November 4th and make history. It's time to change America.




On another subject......TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE for the November 17 Second Annual Adrienne Shelly Foundation Fundraising Gala at New York University's Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. Join us for a terrific evening of music, comedy and film, with scheduled appearances by Paul Rudd, Jeremy Sisto, Ken Burns, Cheryl Hines, Mary Louise Parker, Kristen Bell, Lili Taylor, Ally Sheedy, Marisa Tomei, Keri Russell, Gina Gershon and others. To learn more about our mission, to make a tax-deductible donation, and to purchase tickets, please visit our website. Every contribution helps preserve Adrienne's legacy, allows us to help others, and creates something positive out of the tragic loss two years ago of an incredibly loving and talented woman.

An Open Letter to Pete Townshend and Roger Daltry

Dear Pete and Roger:

First let me say that I am a life-long fan, having first rocked out to "Who's Next" as a coming-of-age 12 year old in my room 37 years ago as my mother screamed "turn that noise down," and have been blasting The Who right through to yesterday while banging the "Baba O'Riley" drums on my steering wheel. You guys are rock and roll history. Living legends. Your music transformed a generation. And now, through your music once again, you have an unprecedented opportunity to help change America's political landscape and inspire voters of all generations.

So as we near this historic election just 15 days from now, I implore you to offer the campaign of Sen. Barack Obama the use of your classic "Won't Get Fooled Again." The lyrics could not be more appropriate:

...The change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the foe, that's all
And the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they all flown in the next war

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
No, no!

...Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss

Imagine an Obama commercial that starts off with graphic images of the Iraq war, Guantanamo Prison, Hurricane Katrina, the Wall Street meltdown, unemployment lines, $4.00 gas signs...with a slowly building "Won't Get Fooled Again" underscoring it all. As the song's volume builds to a peak, the ad ends with the infamous image of Sen. John McCain hugging President Bush, as we hear the lyrics "Meet the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss,"...as a voiceover then says "John McCain. George Bush. They're one and the same. Don't get fooled again. On November 4th, vote for Barack Obama."

C'mon, whattya say, fellas? Let's put that classic rocker to some awesomely good use these next two weeks.


On another subject......TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE for the November 17 Second Annual Adrienne Shelly Foundation Fundraising Gala at New York University's Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. Join us for a terrific evening of music, comedy and film, with scheduled appearances by Paul Rudd, Jeremy Sisto, Ken Burns, Cheryl Hines, Mary Louise Parker, Kristen Bell, Lili Taylor, Ally Sheedy, Marisa Tomei, Keri Russell, Gina Gershon and others. To learn more about our mission, to make a tax-deductible donation, and to purchase tickets, please visit our website. Every contribution helps preserve Adrienne's legacy, allows us to help others, and creates something positive out of the tragic loss two years ago of an incredibly loving and talented woman.

Wasn't it "Spreading the Wealth" Eight Years Ago with the Bush Tax Cuts for America's Wealthiest 1%?

In the final 15 days before the November 4th election, we're going to endlessly hear the phrase "Spread the Wealth," which seems to have quickly replaced "Drill Baby Drill" as the latest campaign mantra of Republican nominee Sen. John McCain. And we're going to hear an awful lot about how Sen. Barack Obama, his Democratic opponent, is a socialist, who middle and upper class taxpayers should fear as the tax Bogeyman. But this tactic is not only standard Republican hypocrisy, it's backfiring big-time. A look at all the major polls and the electoral map, where Obama is pulling away with leads in virtually every swing state, is a loud rejection by voters of McCain's various smear campaigns.

As any student of economics will tell you, there's absolutely no logic or truth in McCain/Palin's "spread the wealth" attacks on Obama. I've yet to meet a Republican who can explain how reversing the Bush tax cuts is spreading-the-wealth-socialism, while enacting them in the first place was not. I suppose, according to our friends on the right, that reducing the tax burden on the nation's wealthiest citizens and corporations is to be considered just and patriotic, while undoing them is an act if taxation heresy....worthy of old Karl Marx himself.

Was it not a redistribution of wealth eight years ago when President Bush took billions out of the tax pool and gave it back to America's richest citizens? Was that an act of socialism? Or is it only socialism when the little guy benefits? Republicans can't have the argument both ways. If raising taxes on the rich is considered socialism, then lowering their taxes is also a redistribution of wealth.

The irony of McCain's "spread the wealth" attacks is that he is an ardent supporter of not just the $1-trillion quasi-nationalization of America's banking and financial industries, but also wants to "redistribute" our tax dollars to subsidize homeowners by buying their troubled mortgages and refinancing them back to them at more favorable rates. Wait, doesn't that make McCain a...socialist?


On another subject......TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE for the November 17 Second Annual Adrienne Shelly Foundation Fundraising Gala at New York University's Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. Join us for a terrific evening of music, comedy and film, with scheduled appearances by Paul Rudd, Jeremy Sisto, Ken Burns, Cheryl Hines, Mary Louise Parker, Kristen Bell, Lili Taylor, Ally Sheedy, Marisa Tomei, Keri Russell, Gina Gershon and others. To learn more about our mission, to make a tax-deductible donation, and to purchase tickets, please visit our website. Every contribution helps preserve Adrienne's legacy, allows us to help others, and creates something positive out of the tragic loss two years ago of an incredibly loving and talented woman.

Colin Powell Endorses Obama for President. Will the GOP Thugs Now SwiftBoat Him Too?

MSNBC News reported Sunday morning that former Secretary of State Colin Powell has stated during taping of NBC's Meet the Press with Tom Brokaw that he's endorsing Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, the Democratic presidential nominee, and intends to vote for him on November 4th. This is a monumental pick-up for Obama, as it strongly undercuts the repeated claim by Sen. John McCain, the Republican candidate, that Obama is weak on national security and foreign policy matters, and is not qualified to be commander-in-chief.

Said Powell outside the studio after taping the interview: "I think that Sen Obama brings a fresh set of eyes, a fresh set of ideas to the table...Sen. McCain, as gifted as he is, is going to execute the Republican agenda...but I think we need more than that. I think we need a generational change, and I think Sen. Obama has captured the feelings of the young people of America, and is reaching out in a more diverse, inclusive way across our society."

Powell also stated that McCain's negative campaigning "troubled me."

So now the big question is when and if--and by how much--McCain, Gov. Sarah Palin and the Republican attack machine will attempt to impugn the character and military record of Powell with a Swift boat-like smear campaign. Just remember what these thugs did to Sen. John Kerry, a five-time decorated war hero. With just 16 days left before the election, and the polls and the electoral map swinging appreciably in Obama's direction, it is highly likely that the heretofore unassailable Powell--an American political and military icon--will be swept up in the muck as the desperation of the McCain camp intensifies. You can bet that key endorsements from Powell and legendary billionaire investor Warren Buffett--placing Obama in some very good company on the military and economic fronts--will cause the Rethugs to ratchet up their incendiary rhetoric on William Ayers, Rev. Jeremiah Wright and ACORN....and that Powell, the once-mighty conservative war-hero and pillar within the Republican establishment, is now just another unpatriotic pawn of the effete liberal elite.

And I'm sure, as Brokaw suggested to Powell, there'll be more than a few McCain surrogates who make the irresponsible and reprehensible charge that the endorsement represents nothing more than one black man voting for another.

Powell: "If I had only had that in mind, I could have done this 6, 8, 10 months ago. I really have been going back and forth between somebody I have the highest respect and regard for, John McCain, and somebody I was getting to know, Barack Obama. And it was only in the last couple of months that I settled on this. And I can't deny that it will be a historic event for an African-American to become president. And should that happen, all Americans should be proud, not just African-Americans, but all Americans, that we have reached this point in our national history where such a thing could happen....who will also not only electrify our country, I think, it will electrify the world."

To be sure, as the White House appears to be sliiping from its grasp, the McCain camp will be stepping up its negative campaigning over the next 16 days, and to what degree, if any, Powell plays a part in that is anyone's guess. Stay tuned...

On another subject......TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE for the November 17 Second Annual Adrienne Shelly Foundation Fundraising Gala at New York University's Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. Join us for a terrific evening of music, comedy and film, with scheduled appearances by Paul Rudd, Jeremy Sisto, Ken Burns, Cheryl Hines, Mary Louise Parker, Kristen Bell, Lili Taylor, Ally Sheedy, Marisa Tomei, Keri Russell, Gina Gershon and others. To learn more about our mission, to make a tax-deductible donation, and to purchase tickets, please visit our website. Every contribution helps preserve Adrienne's legacy, allows us to help others, and creates something positive out of the tragic loss two years ago of an incredibly loving and talented woman.

Thank You David Letterman For Asking McCain the Obvious Questions That "Real" Journalists Won't

If the mainstream media had done its job properly these past eight years, perhaps the entire political landscape would be different. Perhaps voters would be more informed; would understand the issues better. Perhaps the Iraq war would be a bigger priority among Americans. Perhaps there'd be much more accountability in Washington. Perhaps Bush would not have been re-elected. But the press has been utterly neutered during the Bush years, and they've been no less silent and ineffectual in the current presidential campaign. Thankfully, we have hard-hitting "journalists" like Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Joy Behar and David Letterman to aggressively ask the direct questions that the "real" journalists are curiously too afraid to ask.

Sen. John McCain, who infamously dissed Letterman weeks ago by cancelling an appearance with the excuse that he had to "rush to Washington" to save the country from financial crisis, only to appear minutes later on the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, returned to the program Thursday night. He received more than a subtle tongue-lashing from Big Dave, whose performance made this week's debate host Bob Schieffer seem like a high school newspaper reporter. Letterman admirably pressed the feisty little Republican on several key issues in a manner that should embarrass the hell out of working journalists.

Here are some highlights from the interview:

On the choice of Gov. Sarah Palin as McCain's vice presidential running mate:

Letterman: ...the question is, if she had been a man, would you also have selected him as a man?

McCain: Yes, because I believe that Sarah Palin is a reformer.... very proud to
have Sarah with me and I think she has energized our ticket and energized a lot of
Americans.

Letterman: No question about that. But I’ll tell you… I mean, was she your first choice?

McCain: Absolutely.

Letterman: Had you spent time with her?

McCain: A couple of times, I’d met with her. I didn’t know her real well but I knew her reputation and I didn’t know her well at all. I didn’t know her well at all. I knew her reputation as a reformer...

Letterman: ...if you are unable to fulfill your office, we get a 9/11 attack, Sarah Palin is the president who leads us through that.

McCain: Sure. She’s been the governor of a state with 24,000 employees....

Letterman: Let me just get back to my question. Well, I mean, either you’re right or you’re wrong. You know what you’re talking about or you don’t know what you’re talking about. But I’m just telling you from my perspective that I thought, Oh, oh my God. I’m sure she’s a lovely woman. I’m sure she’s done a great job in Alaska. But in terms – this country. I’m 61. I’ve never seen it in this big a mess. I’ve seen economic problems. I’ve seen war. I’ve never seen a combination of things quite like this. I’ve never seen the free fall diminishment of the impression of the United States around the country. I’ve never seen anything like this. I have a four-year-old son. I wonder what the hell, is it going to be 160 twenty years from now on his birthday? So I’m thinking, alright, this is a pretty important job.

McCain: But with all due respect, she’s had the leadership experience that’s necessary to run bureaucracies, to reform…And because she was not known inside the Georgetown cocktail circuit, doesn’t matter to me.

Letterman: Let me ask you a question. In your guts, in your stomach – you’re a smart, tough, savvy guy –...If I were to run upstairs, wake you up in the middle of the night, and say, "John, is Sarah Palin really the woman to lead us through the next four, eight years? Through the next 9/11 attack?"

McCain: Absolutely. She has inspired Americans. That’s the thing we need. We need
inspiration now....But I think America is crying out for change. And she represents
the kind of change that we need. Have we pretty well exhausted this topic?

On 1960's radical William Ayers, and the McCain campaign's relenteless attenpts to connect him to Sen. Barack Obama:

Letterman: No, no. I’m just getting started! Now she’s also, she’s the one, I think who says that Barack Obama pals around with terrorists. Has she in fact said that at rallies?

McCain: I don’t…yes. And he did. And refused to acknowledge the fact.

Letterman: Who did he pal around with?

McCain: William Ayers who said on 9/11 that he wished that he’d bombed more. OK?
His wife was on the Top 10 of FBI’s Most Wanted.

Letterman: But this all took place…when he was active, Barack Obama was eight years old.

McCain: Eight years old. And Mr. Ayers in 2001, September 11, 2001, said, "I wished I
had bombed more." It’s an unrep—

Letterman: But what is that relationship?

McCain: It’s all we need to know. Senator Clinton said, "We need to know about the
relationship." First he said he was just a guy in the neighborhood. And so it’s a matter of trusting the word of someone....

Letterman: But did you not have a relationship with Gordon Liddy?

McCain: I met him, you know, I mean…

Letterman: Didn’t you attend a fund raiser at his house?

McCain: Gordon Liddy’s?...

McCain: I know Gordon Liddy. He paid his debt. He went to prison, he paid his debt, as people do. I’m not in any way embarrassed to know Gordon Liddy. And his son, who is also a good friend and supporter of mine.

Letterman: But you understand that the same case could be made of your relationship with him as being made with William Ayers.

McCain: Everything about any relationship that I’ve had I will make completely open and give a complete accounting of. Senator Obama said that he was a guy who lived in the neighborhood. OK, it was more than that.

Letterman: They served on a committee at one point....Are they double dating? Are they going to dinner? What are they doing? Are they driving cross country?

Letterman: Now she (Palin) said "pals around with terrorists." OK, so alright. Let’s say we give her William Ayers. He was eight and William Ayers was 29. But they palled around. (Letterman had also asked why Palin had been using the plural "terrorists" at her rallies, but McCain did not answer)

McCain: There’s millions of word said in the campaign. Come on!

So, if you're John McCain, it's ok to pal around with a convicted Watergate criminal who attempted to steal an election; it's ok to use incendiary rhetoric and outright lies to define your opponent; you stand firm in your shameless contention that Sarah Palin is the absolute best choice in the country to be your second-in-command; and...terrorist...terrorists...what's a little "s" among friends, right?. And he's the "Country First" candidate?

Props to Letterman for further exposing this fraud for exactly who is he is, and isn't, and for giving voters a greater glimpse into McCain's shallow character. Mainstream media...you can take a lesson from the Letterman playbook...


On another subject......TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE for the November 17 Second Annual Adrienne Shelly Foundation Fundraising Gala at New York University's Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. Join us for a terrific evening of music, comedy and film, with scheduled appearances by Paul Rudd, Jeremy Sisto, Ken Burns, Cheryl Hines, Mary Louise Parker, Kristen Bell, Ally Sheedy, Marisa Tomei, Keri Russell, Gina Gershon and others. To learn more about our mission, to make a tax-deductible donation, and to purchase tickets, please visit our website. Every contribution helps preserve Adrienne's legacy, allows us to help others, and creates something positive out of the tragic loss two years ago of an incredibly loving and talented woman.

Is McCain Hot for Obama?

While Sen. John McCain fundamentally disagrees with virtually every one of Sen. Barack Obama's policy positions, he sure does think he's got a nice ass. Is this McNasty's idea of reaching across the aisle??

Call me crazy, but I don't think we should ever put in the White House anyone who can make such an insane face. There's clearly a loose screw here somewhere...

Who the Fuck is Joe the Plumber? That and Other Questions for John McCain

All three presidential debates are now history. With just 20 days left until the election, judging from the polls and Sen. John McCain's overall sub par performance Wednesday night in which he needed a knockout but failed to get one, it looks as though Sen. Barack Obama is well on his way to becoming the 44th President of the United States. That is of course barring any acts of terrorism, widespread election fraud and/or large-scale racism.

As a post-mortem to the debate, I have some questions for McCain:

1. Who the fuck is Joe the Plumber, and why is he so important to have been mentioned 21 times by you? And, why is he the only American you referred to the entire evening?

2. Is Joe the Plumber a $40,000 per year working stiff or the wealthy owner of the plumbing company? In your repeated populist references to him, you implied that he's just your average blue-collar worker, yet all of your tax and health policy examples clearly had him as the more affluent entrepreneur in control of his workers' fates.

3. Who the hell cares about William Ayers and Acorn? Did you not see the new NY Times/CBS News poll indicating that voters are utterly fed up with your dirty politics and smear attacks on Obama? With the Dow down another 700 points earlier in the day, and with the economy's meltdown scaring the bajesus out of Americans, how about talking about something they're all really interested in?

4. Why don't you directly answer this question: "Is Sarah Palin the best possible choice you could've made...the most qualified, capable second-in-command, to lead this nation in the event of something happening to you?" (forget it, we already know the answer).

5. How can you possibly defend and be "proud" of those who attend your and Palin's rallies and scream despicable threats like "off with his head" and "kill him?" In terms of simple human decency, how did you not turn to Obama and sincerely apologize for this vile behavior? Instead, you went tit for tat in saying "your supporters have said some awful things too." Excuse me, Gramps, but no one at an Obama rally is screaming "kill McCain."

6. You know damned well you can't balance the budget in four years, so why keep regurgitating this irresponsible promise? Makes you look like you know even less about the economy than you do..which is pretty little as it is.

7. Why do you keep distorting and lying about Obama's record on tax, spending, health care and energy policies? (sorry, dumb question, we already know the answer to that one too)

8. Why so nasty? So condescending? So sarcastic? Why all the eye rolling and agitated facial contortions? The obnoxious smiling, laughter and mock-indignation? What's your real problem with Obama's "eloquence?" (sorry, that's a lot of questions in one question). As CNN's David Gergen said, your erratic behavior tonight was an "exercise in anger management." MSNBC's Rachel Maddow noted that you were "gritting your teeth down to sawdust." And Illinois Rep. Rahm Emanuel said you're a "grumpy old man in slippers."

9. Why all the stammering and verbal gaffes: "Senator Government," "Fannie and Freddie Mae," and "Freath Bresh," and of appointing Supreme Court Justices: "I will find the best people in the world!" You seem so nervous and desperate that you don't know what the heck you're saying anymore, doggonnit! (sorry, I just love PalinSpeak)

10. Why bother saying "I'm not Bush" when, judging from your voting record, you and President Disaster are virtually one and the same?

11. And what's this disingenuous "spread the wealth" nonsense about Obama's tax plan? Was the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest 1%, which you were vehemently against before political expedience had you for them, not "spreading the wealth" eight years ago? So, reversing the grossly unfair tax breaks for the rich is your idea of socialism?

12. Lastly, where was your flag pin? We noticed Obama's, but nothing on your lapel. Are you unpatriotic or something?

To be sure, McCain came out swinging Wednesday night, but swinging wildly and not really connecting. He was about as embarrassing and unpresidential as, well, our current White House occupant. To the contrary, Obama was cool, composed and highly presidential. He showed superior intellect, knowledge of the complex issues, clarity of thought, and provided well-articulated proposal specifics on his tax, spending, health care and energy policies. And while his feisty, petulant opponent spoke only to the ubiquitous Joe the Plumber, Obama often looked directly into the camera to make that much-needed visceral connection to voters across all party lines. And like in the previous two debates, his strategy seems to have worked yet again.

Some very interesting numbers: in CNN's Columbus, OH focus group of thirty independents, two-thirds said Obama won the debate. Additionally, McCain's smear tactics continued to cost him votes. Three out of four in the group who indicated that tonight's debate convinced them to vote for one candidate or the other, said they'll be voting for Obama. In CNN's overall poll, Obama won the debate by a 58%-31%margin. Among the much-coveted independents, Obama won 57%-31%. CBS News' poll had Obama winning 53%-22%, while MSNBC's focus group of independents chose Obama by a 20-7 margin.

As I wrote the other day, let's just hope grumpy Grandpa McNasty and Grandma Sarah-Joe Sixpack keep up the current strategy of talking about everything that voters clearly couldn't give a rat's ass about. Ayers and Acorn and Wright, oh my!


On another subject......TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE for the November 17 Second Annual Adrienne Shelly Foundation Fundraising Gala at New York University's Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. Join us for a terrific evening of music, comedy and film, with scheduled appearances by Paul Rudd, Jeremy Sisto, Ken Burns, Cheryl Hines, Mary Louise Parker, Kristen Bell, Ally Sheedy, Marisa Tomei, Keri Russell, Gina Gershon and others. To learn more about our mission, to make a tax-deductible donation, and to purchase tickets, please visit our website. Every contribution helps preserve Adrienne's legacy, allows us to help others, and creates something positive out of the tragic loss two years ago of an incredibly loving and talented woman.

Thank You John McCain. Your Rovian Campaign Strategy is Working Wonders for Barack Obama

Strap yourselves in kids, for the final weeks of the presidential campaign promises to be the dirtiest, ugliest and most divisive in American history. And that's just fine with me, because the more Sen. John McCain and Gov. Sarah Palin attack the character of Sen. Barack Obama with shameless, baseless, outrageous accusations, the faster and more decisively Obama is pulling away with the election.

Team-McCain is beyond desperate, and as they see the White House increasingly slipping away, they've been ratcheting up the intensity and outlandishness of the attacks. Judging from the electoral map and every major national and state-by-state poll, it's clearly not working, as voters, worried about their jobs, their homes and their savings amid the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, are screaming enough. They're sick of McPalin's brand of smear-politics. What they want is a plan to rescue the country from its chilling economic meltdown. What they want is some meaningful assurance that their financial world isn't coming to an end. What they want is leadership. What they don't want is a non-stop barrage of "Sen. Obama pals around with terrorists."

But again, I say "Bravo Sen. McCain, bravo Gov. Palin, keep up the fine work!" For you two have done more in the last three weeks to appreciably aid Obama's campaign than the candidate himself. Give us more, please. Lots more. We want more talk of 1960's radical and terrorist William Ayers, and his supposed "close" relationship with Obama. In fact, we'd actually like you to call Obama a terrorist. That's right, don't pull any punches. Just come right out with it and say he's on bin Laden's payroll.

And what happened to Rev. Jeremiah Wright? It's been so long since you guys harped on that "scandal." Bring him back, in all his "God damn America" glory! Re-connect him to Obama, and say they both hate white people. We also want more flag-pin talk. More Michelle Obama bashing. More "elitist' accusations. And let's not forget Obama's drug use twenty-five years ago. C'mon, Johnny, a president who smoked pot and did "blow?" Are you and the saucy stew gonna let him get away with that unchecked!? Don't forget that's he's also a lightweight. No, not in terms of political inexperience, I'm saying the dude is literally skinny! Way too thin to be president, no? Start calling him anorexic. It's time to get creative here. Who the hell wants a radical terrorist socialist elitist manorexic president? (btw, can you be both socialist and elitist?) Surely this'll resonate with voters...just as soon as they're done calculating that they'll have to work until they're 160 now that their savings are eroding faster than President Bush's approval ratings.

Yes, Sen. McCain and Gov. Palin, just keep talking. With unemployment, bankruptcies and home foreclosures soaring, and Americans' nest eggs hemorrhaging, and the collapse of global markets threatening our security, just please keep talking about everything that's so utterly of no interest to the vast majority of Democratic, Republican and Independent voters. It's music to our ears.

Gwen Ifill: The Moderator That Wasn't

Leading up to and immediately following the vice presidential debate Thursday night between Sen. Joe Biden and Gov. Sarah Palin the burning question was, who'd win and who'd lose. But there were really no major surprises. Biden sounded like the knowledgeable and experienced six-term Senator he is and Palin sounded like the colossal airhead she is. So, the biggest loser of all? Moderator Gwen Ifill. She was there occupying space and her lips moved, but she was virtually invisible the entire evening.

It's unfortunate, but the American media is neutered. For eight years it's given the Bush administration a free pass to invade Iraq on lies and faulty intelligence and conflate that war with the 9-11 attacks; to torture and spy on whoever the hell it wants; and generally govern in the most reckless manner through cronyism and corruption, trampling all over the Constitution. And now when the nation is at a critical crossroads with the upcoming presidential election, journalists like Ifill are simply asleep at the wheel yet again.

Case in point: when Biden challenged Palin to answer the question about Sen. John McCain's role in deregulating Wall Street and the banking industry, which led to the current financial meltdown, the plucky little hockey mom thumbed her nose at both her opponent and Ifill:

"Well I'm still on the tax thing because I want to correct ya on that again...and I want to let ya know what I did as a mayor and as a governor. And I may not answer the questions the way that either the moderator or you wanna hear but I'm gonna talk straight to the American people and let 'em know my track-record also."

Ifill sat there motionless and silent as Palin essentially rewrote the debate rules and said, "fuck you all, gosh-darnit! I'll answer whatever I want, whenever I want. And when I don't have the answer to one of your "gotcha" questions, I'll just fill air with my usual inane, disjointed, incoherent gibberish about shout-outs, Joe Sixpack, soccer games, mavericks, reforms, energy independence, and greed and corruption...all the while givin' y'all a flash of my pearly whites and my cutesy lil wink. It'll drive the boys crazy and make the girls all want to be my friend!"

How come Ifill didn't come back at Palin with : "With all due respect Governor, the economy is in crisis and Congress is being asked to pass a $700-billion bailout bill funded with taxpayers' money. Voters want to know what you be believe was Sen. McCain's role in deregulating banks and Wall Street."

Would this sort of aggressive moderating have been out of line? Would it have been condescending? Sexist? Or unfair on any level? Of course not. It would've been exactly what Ifill was supposed to do

And while she was at it, Ifill could've nailed the spunky igloo-dwelling, Putin-watching BluffQueen on her convoluted mumbo-jumbo about the "Constitutional" role of the VP; the Founding Fathers; her lies about Obama's tax plan and troop funding; her Afghanistan war "Gen. McLellan" mix-up; and any other of her many embarrassing gaffes. I suppose that would've been too much to ask for.

A Final Word About Tonight's Debate: No One Has to Go Easy on Palin Because She's an Airhead

About 20 years ago an ambitious young salesperson called trying to get me to buy her company's services. When, after a few painful minutes of listening to her canned talking points I pressed her with, "please tell me exactly why your company is better than the one I currently use," she incredulously replied with a bit of girlish charm, "oh c'mon, don't be difficult!" Her name was Sarah Palin. I'm kidding. But it might as well have been, because they both studied the airhead playbook.

The fact that Sen. John McCain chose the Alaska Governor as his vice presidential running mate doesn't in and of itself automatically make her qualified for the job, nor does it miraculously turn an airhead into an egghead. That he made a boneheaded mistake doesn't preclude us from exposing all her obviously glaring warts.

Which brings us to tonight's debate. There's been a lot of conjecture about what Sen. Joe Biden's strategy will be to avoid appearing condescending and/or sexist. And that's patently offensive to those of us with a brain. The bar has seemingly been set so low for Palin that Biden and moderator Gwen Ifill must treat her with kid gloves or reap the public-relations shitstorm that Republicans will rain down on them.

But let's get one thing straight: Palin's running for the second highest job in the nation. Leader-of-the-free-world in the on-deck circle. A heartbeat away from the presidency should something happen to the 72-year-old cancer surviving McCain. She's supposed to be brilliant. Knowledgeable about both domestic and foreign affairs. Possessing solid judgement. Able to string together a direct answer in three or four coherent sentences. She's not some damned beauty queen whose vacuousness we're supposed to tolerate through the question-and-answer part of the pageant simply because we love her in a bathing suit. She's not supposed to sound like some stammering 10th grader in a "my dog ate my homework" moment. She's not supposed to unconvincingly bluff through difficult questions like an 80-year-old Jersey grandma at a $2 Atlantic City poker table.

There can be no "aw c'mon, don't be difficult!" moments tonight. There can be no free passes. No slack cutting. We cannot allow Palin to get away with sounding like a woefully unprepared and unqualified airhead just because she is one. If she appears inexperienced, uninformed and out of her league tonight it'll be because she is, and not because of some absurd charge of sexism. Just remember, the only people who've lowered any bars here are her Republican handlers who are now chillingly aware of her massive deficiencies. The rest of us will still be holding her to the highest standards.

The McCain-Palin Theatre of the Absurd

When she's not monitoring Russia from her igloo, our saucy little stew of a GOP vice presidential nominee, Gov. Sarah Palin, is falling victim to another mean-spirited "gotcha journalism" moment from the vast left-wing media conspiracy...aided in part by an Average-Joe voter with the audacity to ask her a question while out on the campaign trail.

Out stumping last week, Palin was asked by a voter in a restaurant if she would strike terrorist targets within Pakistan. Contradicting her boss, Sen. John McCain, who's previously criticized Obama for making public statements about potential U.S. military actions, the Wasila Wonder said that we should in order to "stop the terrorists from coming any further in." Following this never-ending series of dumb-ass Sarah Palin gaffes, the lovable arctic spitfire went on the defensive, sitting down once again with her arch-nemesis, CBS's Katie Couric, only this time perched alongside Grandpappy John like an embarrassed juvey in the principal's office.

Couric, somewhat puzzled, asked Palin to explain her latest boneheaded comment, but the now-infamous Putin-watcher was interrupted by an obviously agitated Gramps who played the gotcha journalism card before allowing his meandering pupil to step in and once again appear like a blathering idiot on national TV.

McPalin's 100% right. What is this nation coming to when a grossly inexperienced candidate can no longer hit the campaign trail without voters asking legitimate questions and then having the media report on her moronic answers? Gotcha indeed. Damn those pesky voters and reporters with their trick questions!

And then there was that other highly unfair gotcha moment when Couric asked her what newspapers and magazines she reads. Our spunky lil hockey mom replied as though she'd been hit in the head with a puck:

Couric: And when it comes to establishing your world view, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this — to stay informed and to understand the world?
Palin: I’ve read most of them again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media
Couric: But what ones specifically? I’m curious.
Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.
Couric: Can you name any of them?
Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news.

Or how about on the topic of abortion, where Couric followed up after Palin voiced her strong opposition to Roe v Wade:

Couric: What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?

Palin: Well, let's see. There's, of course in the great history of America there have been rulings, that's never going to be absolute consensus by every American. And there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but …

Couric: Can you think of any?

Palin: Well, I could think of … any again, that could be best dealt with on a more local level. Maybe I would take issue with. But, you know, as mayor, and then as governor and even as a vice president, if I'm so privileged to serve, wouldn't be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today (fyi Sarah, a good pick would be 2000's Bush v. Gore, 531 U.S. 98).

I'm sorry, but this woman is a colossal airhead. She belongs on a 747 serving me peanuts (and that's no slight to airline workers, as the average flight attendent is much smarter than she is). How she got her current job is a freakin' mystery. I guess Alaskans have low standards. She's a joke. An embarrassment to the country. And God help us all if she and McCain are elected and something tragic should happen to him, especially early in his presidency. Palin as leader of the free world? I'm packing for Costa Rica as we speak....

And then there's old grumpy Gramps himself, who's looking less lucid by the minute. Stumping in Ohio Monday he embarrassingly took credit for Congress's $700-billion Wall Street bailout bill even as it was being defeated in the House. He then went straight into Loonyville with this little incoherent gem: "Senator Obama and his allies in Congress infused unnecessary partisanship into the process. Now is not the time to fix the blame. It's time to fix the problem." Huh? As Bill Maher would say, Honky Please!

Poor McCain. The curmudgeonly Republican is so desperate to be president that he doesn't know what the hell he's doing or saying anymore. He's simply tripping over his own nonsensical rhetoric. Remember, he's the "country first" candidate who took 22 hours to "rush" to D.C from New York last week during his little "Me First" Mighty Mouse moment. "Here I come to fucks thing up...."

As worried as I am that the Obama-Biden ticket has yet to truly connect with voters and gain appreciable traction, it is the ever-wackier McCain-Palin Theater of the Absurd that provides the real comfort in this ever-wacky election.

By the way, a word of advice for Sen. Joe Biden for his match up with Palin Thursday night: don't even think of trying to pull any cheap "gotcha debate" trickiness by sounding knowledgeable and experienced, because we'll come down hard on ya pal for that condescending sexist crap.


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